


I'll Always Love You

by gardenofmaris



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Jim Kirk, M/M, Vulcan Mind Melds, tummy loving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenofmaris/pseuds/gardenofmaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>more Jim Kirk tummy loving, because there isn't enough of that in the world</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Always Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plaidshirtjimkirk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidshirtjimkirk/gifts).



> I promised this to the sweet and lovely plaidshirtjimkirk a million and a half years ago and I just now finished it  
> I hope you enjoy this, sweetheart <3

Spock looked down at the arms that had taken to wrapping around his waist and turned around in his lover's arms, smiling ever so slightly as he tilted his head to kiss Jim's forehead. “Good morning, _ashayam_. How was your sleep?”

Jim hummed into Spock's chest and swayed back and forth ever so slightly, Spock letting him move him those few inches. “I slept well. I missed you when I woke up though.”

“Did I wake you when I left the bed?”

“No.” He placed a sweet kiss on Spock's jaw. “I just wish you were there whenever I open my eyes and you're not in bed with me.”

“I see. I shall endeavor to lay in bed with you for a little while longer each morning then.” He softly pulled away and turned to the food he had replicated when he heard Jim beginning to get up. “Would you like some breakfast, _t'hy'la_?”

Jim hummed softly. “God yes, I'd love that.”

“Wonderful.”

“What've we got?”

“I had some eggs, blueberry pancakes, and toast and jam replicated for you. I myself replicated a small soup.”

Jim smiled and kissed Spock's cheek as he grabbed his plate, fingers lightly brushing fingers as well. “You treat me so well.”

Spock smiled and moved to kiss Jim properly, albeit quickly, before sitting with him at the table. “It is what one does when they love someone.”

“Sap,” Kirk grumbled good-naturedly as he dug into his food.

“If I am correct in my interpretation of the word, and I generally am right, it is your human emotionalism that makes you the sap here.”

“Oh can it,” Jim mumbled around a bite of pancake.

Spock opened his mouth to add another sassy remark, but shut it and gave Kirk a fond look when a piece of jam covered toast was flicked at him and landed on his cheek. He picked it off, ate the piece, then wiped off his fingers and cheek, before smiling as they both dug in.

Only a few minutes later after they were both finished, Jim groaned and leaned back in his chair, rubbing at his stomach. “I should really stop eating so much. But I also really love food.”

Spock tilted his head and studied Jim. “I see no problem inherent in your current eating habits. You are more than adequate in your state as of today.”

Laughter bubbled out of Kirk's lips and he sat up in his chair, leaning forward and placing his hands under his chin. “Is that all I am, Commander? More than adequate?”

An eyebrow raised and Jim was leveled with a deadpan look. “I have not been a Commander for a very long time by Human standards, Admiral. You of all people should know that, unless for whatever reason your age is beginning to affect your memory, in which case I would highly suggest that you go see an educated physician who can pinpoint the problem and recommend the best form of treatment possible for whatever ailment you have been taken with.”

Jim laughed softly at his lovely Vulcan's beautiful sense of humor, only to be cut short when Spock's face suddenly changed minutely, and Kirk knew in his very bones that whatever he was going to say next would be without any form of humor whatsoever.

“As for your adequacy, you know very well that you are the human who I love, the only being I have ever truly been in love with, the only being I will ever be in love with, and my beautiful, perfect _t'hy'la_ even long after both of our lifetimes have come and gone and we are no more than the simple particles that make up everything else in the universe.”

Kirk blushed deeply at what was basically a Vulcan love poem and grabbed Spock's hand, pushing the table to the side and pulling at him to silently tell him to come to him. Spock obliged and he was soon faced with a lapful of lovely Vulcan. He smiled widely and nosed just below Spock's ear, kissing the spot of skin there and wrapping his arms around his waist. “God, I love you,” he breathed.

“As I do you, _taluhk_.”

Jim turned Spock's face to give him a sweet and chaste kiss at the same time that his fingers wrapped gently around his _t'hy'la's_. “Why don't we go relax on the couch for a little bit, darling?” he whispered into his lips.

“I am quite enjoying sitting here on you right now.”

“Fine, you little brat. You can sit on my lap when we go to the couch.”

“I am no such thing and you will do good to remember as such.”

As Spock sauntered off, Jim could almost see a cat tail twitching and laughed. Yeah, Vulcans were pretty catty alright.

He followed him into the living room and with a laugh tackled him onto the couch. They both landed, Kirk on top of Spock, gasping for air as he laughed uproariously. Spock meanwhile had an eyebrow raised, before he linked their hands together and brought Jim's hand up to kiss it lightly. “You can be such a child,” he murmured fondly.

“Yeah, but you love me,” Jim responded, curling up on Spock and nuzzling into his neck.

“I never suggested otherwise.”

Spock refrained from rolling his eyes (he was, after all, part Vulcan) and simply moved Jim's face so that he could kiss him deeply. He let the small tendril of affection grow and grow, feeding it as it threatened to explode out of him, it would almost seem. There would have been a time when he would have tamped it down, hidden it from all, even Jim himself. But now, he had Jim and Jim knew when he was holding back. His gorgeous, wonderful _t'hy'la_ had helped him begin to find balance between his Vulcan and Human sides and, though he was far from perfect at it, it was so much easier than it had been when he met his love.

He put those thoughts away for a moment, however, and focused on kissing Jim in the Human way, tasting him, going over that lovely mouth for the millionth time with his tongue and rememorizing ever crevice, nipping at his lips, savoring each soft whimper that came from his skillful manipulation of Jim's mouth. Spock would have also engaged in kissing Jim the Vulcan way as well, but he wanted even more to feel Jim's soft, sweet, supple flesh beneath his hands, to worship him in a way that only he could. So he let his hands wander, from tangling into Jim's soft golden locks, to running the pads of his fingers across his neck, to tilt his chin to the side so that he could kiss that sinful skin as his hands wandered to Jim's shoulders, down his arms. Spock clutched at his lover's hands for only a brief moment before dropping his hands even further down, gripping Jim's thighs and rubbing up and down a few times, reveling in the shiver and moan that Jim couldn't help but let out.

He moved back to worship his love's mouth, hands still roaming. It felt as it electricity was sparking up his fingertips with every small movement he made across Jim's body. Jim's whole self, his body, soul, and mind, were all intoxicating to Spock, and of course he was slowly worshiping Jim through their bond as well, but he was more focused on the physical aspect of Jim at that moment.

As his fingertips grazed his second favorite part on Jim's body, his stomach, though, Jim startled and pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looking away from Spock. “I, um, I'd really like it if you didn't touch me there tonight.”

Spock blinked slowly a few times, not comprehending. He loved kissing and nipping his way up and down Jim's stomach, and Jim knew that. He had to, or else he would never tease Spock the way he most certainly had before, walking around with his shirt off first thing some mornings and winking at Spock with a lecherous grin as he rubbed his stomach, only to laugh knowingly as Spock tackled him to the bed or floor or couch or whatever was closest.

“May I ask why, _ashal-veh_?” He kept his tone even, not letting any of his confusion color his voice, though he knew Jim could feel it intimately through the bond.

Jim still refused to look Spock in the eyes, biting his lip and pulling his shirt down, keeping his hands there in a way that would keep Spock from trying to pry his shirt back up. “I just… It's not a pleasant part of my body. I know you know that. You've just gotten it in your head that it'll make me feel better about myself if you pretend to be attracted to it. I know you're not. It's okay.” He looked up, tears in his eyes. “Really. Just please don't pretend anymore. It hurts too much.”

Spock was completely floored. “What do you mean? Jim, _ashayam_ , you know that I love you. I love every part of you. I think your stomach is beautiful, my love. You need to understand that.”

“I want to. I just...” His voice cracked and he looked down at his stomach again, hands running down the fabric of his shirt that his the skin from both of their views. “God, it's so _ugly_.”

Spock just couldn't take it anymore. He really couldn't. He reached down and grabbed Jim's hands, bringing them up to kiss them over and over. “I don't know why you're suddenly feeling this way, Jim, or if you have been feeling this way for a time. I haven't picked up feelings of insecurity like this since I first began courting you. But I am going to tell you the same exact thing I told you then, that I told you this morning, that I will tell you until our dying breaths. I love you, James Kirk. You are a gorgeous human, worthy of honor and affection and praise for all of your days. I want to be the one to do that. Perhaps it is the pre-Surak side that lives in all Vulcans, perhaps it is my human side, and perhaps it is a combination, but you are mine, and my _t'hy'la_ is in no way, shape, or form anything less than absolute perfection.”

As he spoke, he let Jim see all of his love, all of his adoration, all of his fondness, through the bond. He opened himself up completely, letting Jim see just how madly he was in love with the human. He could see Jim's eyes water even more, both from the emotions and from the words he was being told.

“How can you think that?” he whispered.

“How can you not think that?” Spock replied, voice deadpan.

Jim burst into tears and Spock let him fall into his arms. He tucked Jim's head below his chin and absorbed all the anger, all the frustration, all the pain and insecurity that Jim had held deep inside. He heard and saw, through the bond's eye, a nameless figure laughing harshly at Jim, telling him that no real Vulcan would want such an ugly piece of soggy fat. He felt how that brought up memories in Jim, of people poking at his stomach and laughing, mocking jeers on their faces. Spock had known how tormented his love had been over his weight, all up until he became the best starship captain in Starfleet. He also knew that now that he was no longer captain of the Enterprise, and now that people had “surpassed” Jim, there were those who now felt that it was appropriate to mock the former captain.

“I will rip them to pieces,” he growled. “Never think of yourself as anything less than perfect.”

“They have a point, though.” Jim's voice was muffled, his face being pressed into Spock's neck. “Why would you love me when I have all of this flab all over my body? I wasn't skinny when I was younger, but this is the fattest I've ever been. It's disgusting. You shouldn't be attracted to me the way that I am now.”

Spock could feel his heart break, in only the way that Jim Kirk could ever do. He gently cupped Jim's face and tilted it up so that their eyes met. “Jim. _T'hy'la_. _Ashayam_. You must understand. I love you. I have only ever loved you. I only ever will love you. You make both the Human and Vulcan sides in me happy. I know that I never showed it enough when we were younger, and that I do not show it near enough in public, but I know that you understand why. I also know that you know I love you. You have to, or else I have failed as your _t'hy'la_. No matter how much fat your body accumulates, you will always be the most beautiful Human ever to me. Never doubt that, Jim.”

Tears kept tracking their way down Jim's face, and Spock brushed them away with his thumbs. “How?”

“Look at yourself through my eyes.”

He threw the door to his side of the bond wide open, beckoning Jim to do the same and, in that moment, they became one in a way only ever surpassed by the deepest of mind melds.

They could see, feel, hear, know all that they other saw, felt, heard, knew. Where one began and the other ended was no longer discernible.

A thought originated in Spock and bounced around that the Vulcan would need much meditation afterwards to regain balance with such a large amount of emotions running rampant through them both, before fading in awe at how beautiful they were. Despite having felt Jim's emotions many times, it never failed to make Spock feel absolute wonder at the beauty of Jim.

Tears flowed down both their cheeks ( _and what a strange sensation it is_ , came and went) as Spock moved, pushing Jim down onto the couch, reminiscent of their position before. He wiped away the tears and controlled his physiology as best as he could without pushing away the emotions that were flowing freely between them before laying loving kisses on Jim's lips, over and over. Spock kissed Jim until his lover was sweet and pliant beneath him, before making his way down Jim's body. He nibbled on Jim's neck, placed sucking open mouthed kisses across his pectorals, before finally settling on his stomach.

Spock took his time worshiping the skin there with both his hands and mouth, humming and letting Jim see just how beautiful he thought he was. He ran that love over all the raw, red sores of insecurities he could see popping up, and though he knew that they were not healed, not that easily, he knew that things were better between them.

Neither of them could tell you how long Spock laid there on top of Jim, nuzzling and nipping and kissing Jim's stomach and giving him all the love he knew that his love deserved.

What they could tell you was that it felt both like multiple eternities and yet also a single fleeting moment before they both slowly disentangled themselves from each other, physically and mentally.

Jim flushed as, right before they completely broke apart mentally, an image came to his mind of him, lying on the couch, body deep red, with tear tracks visible and hickies all over his torso and neck. Funny, he hadn't even been aware that Spock had kissed anywhere other than his stomach, he had been so overwhelmed by the sensations he'd had when Spock focused there.

“Better, my sweet Jim?”

The question was posed genuinely, and he smiled, tangling his fingers together with Spock.

“I'm not feeling perfect, but yeah. I feel a lot better.”

Spock leaned over and kissed Jim sweetly, smiling against his lips. “I know, _ashaya_. It will take some time, but I will love you throughout all of it.”

Jim felt his heart swell with love, and Spock smiled again when he felt it through their bond.


End file.
